Alice Benedict Radez

Here is the remembrance that Mary-Benton Gordon delivered at the beginning of Alice’s Funeral service here in Raleigh. Maybe it’s a nice way to start the blog. Something for you all to reflect on.

Remembrance of Alice Benedict Radez, delivered at her funeral on November 8,
2007

On behalf of the Radez family, I’d like to welcome you here this evening, and
thank you for coming here to celebrate the life of my neighbor and friend Alice.

Alice was a woman of grace.  Her life was so hard sometimes, but she tried to
maintain a positive, cheerful attitude, and she insisted on doing as much as she
could for as long as she could.  She loved sewing and smocking, going to
sporting events at Duke, participating in retreats, and being connected with the
people around her.  She always had a stack of newspapers nearby, because she
wanted to read everything and miss nothing.  When she could no longer live at
home, her first words each week during our visits were predictable: “So,
what’s new on Iris Drive?”

There is one theme that stands out the most from the family’s reminiscing
this week – something that I also remember hearing Alice say dozens of times:
FAMILY COMES FIRST.  Alice’s husband, Kevin (known to most of us as
“Kip”), remembers that Alice was always fully involved with anything related
to family.  Alice grew up one of five children, and as an adult she loved going
to family reunions in Cape May, New Jersey, and spending time at her family’s
cabin in Connecticut – near where her ashes will later be interred.

When Alice and Kip had their own children, Dan and Molly, Alice completely
embraced her role as a mother.  Dan and Molly remember that Alice volunteered at
school, and she always came to their events in sports, Scouts, honors choir, or
anything else that parents were invited to attend.  She found ways to contribute
to these groups as she could.  For example, she served for years as Girl Scout
cookie mother for Molly’s troop, and she volunteered to sew the many badges
onto each Scout’s vest – placing each badge carefully and then sewing it on
with matching thread.  Alice also spent countless hours in sewing and hand
smocking beautiful dresses for Molly.  These gifts of time and attention were
clear expressions of her love for her family.

Alice also trained her children in thoughtful and careful living:  If you’re
not watching the TV, turn it off….When you leave the room, turn the light
off….Don’t run the water at high speed because it’s not
necessary….Don’t buy Windex when you can use vinegar & water instead.  Dan
and Molly say this training has stuck, and it affects the way they live and work
today.  Kip remembers that Alice’s care with finances allowed the family to
splurge on special vacations and other things they really wanted.

Over the past few years, Alice shared with me her happiness at each new
milestone or success or endeavor in her family’s lives – Dan’s marriage to
Elizabeth, Kip’s taking up running, Molly’s job at Duke, and many others.
She was overjoyed at the birth of her grandson, Logan.  Alice studied and smiled
at Logan’s photos during her three months as a proud grandmother, and loved to
talk about “sweet little Logan.”

Perhaps because of her own dedication to her family, Alice really valued and
appreciated the loving care that her family provided for her.  She often talked
about how much it meant to her that Dan and Molly took time to visit and take
her places.  She was especially grateful for Kip’s faithful dedication, and
she told her friends about the things he did to make her more comfortable.  She
knew this was a difficult and ever-changing task, and she was very thankful.

I want to thank you again for coming tonight to honor Alice and celebrate her
life.  I invite you now to join in song and prayer as we continue in this
celebration.